On sexual labels

This morning I read Meta's post on labeling sexuality and it reminded me of something that I had been wanting to write about for awhile. She is questioning desires and inclinations and trying to figure out what it means for her and for a potential future relationship. In some ways, I seem to be going through the exact opposite.

I have had sexual experiences with women before. In fact, depending on how you define virginity, you could say I lost my virginity to a woman. *thinks for a second and then blushes* Well, several women, actually. *giggles to myself* When I was 14 there was a very stoned sleepover orgy worthy of any school boy's fantasy. I have kissed women over the years as well, but I have never considered myself bi.

My Dom knows this and as always, he is keen to help me sort out my own desires and make sure that I understand myself. In this case we disagree because I feel like I understand myself perfectly well. I am more than happy to have sex with another woman, with or without my man. Preferably with. But it's not something I desire.

I can look at a woman and say she is beautiful, but I am not attracted to women. I have never looked at a woman and thought "holy god... all I want right now is to have her in my bed and my tongue up her pussy!" That may seem extreme, but I've certainly thought something along those lines about a man. I can be attracted to a woman's personality, but it's not that same gut wrenching lust that I feel with a man.

I get the feeling Master still wants me to say I'm bi. I've asked him why it matters what I label myself. I'm perfectly happy and open to both genders so it's not like it affects our repertoire of play. I'm comfortable with my label of "straight but adventurous" although I'd never heard "heteroflexible" until I read Meta's entry. I like it. *grins*

Just to give an example, the friend I mentioned yesterday is extremely open and will try anything. She will do things just to try them out and just to say she has. I have conflicted feelings about this, if I'm honest, but mostly I figure you can't really know what you like until you try. She is not in any way submissive but neither is she particularly dominant. It's all about the sex for her. It's not about love or a relationship or a deeper understanding... it's just about the experience.

I was fairly stunned to discover that she had tried pony play though. For my own personal interests, that goes beyond what I would be comfortable with. It has a deeper meaning and significance. For her, it's just a saddle on her back. It means nothing but it's interesting. I guess that's how I feel about playing with other women. I can love them very deeply as friends. But when it comes to sex, it's just sex. It's just a different sensation with no deeper meaning or significance.