On being out of sync

Last night, playtime with R just... didn't work. I mean, we both came and it was fine, but it felt like something was off.

This is another one of those times when I really hate that our relationship is only online (But I did just book the hotel for him to come over in a few months, so YAY!!). We both wanted to play, but I don't think either one of us really wanted to work at it. Physical work is fine, but I think we just wanted to switch off mentally and enjoy it. Doesn't really work that way when you're not physically together. *sighs*

We still haven't gotten back to having as much time together as we used to, so this was the first playtime we've had in several days. I think I was a little disappointed. When it was over, I didn't feel satisfied. I was physically sated, but we hadn't gotten that connection that we usually have, and I miss that just as much as the rest.

I didn't want to say anything, but my body seems to understand this whole honesty thing better than my brain does, so suddenly my mouth was opening and words were coming out. I asked if it was just me or if that felt really disconnected. In the split second before his answer came, I was so nervous. I hoped he wouldn't think I was criticizing or complaining and I really hoped he wouldn't be upset.

All he said was "Yep" but it was said in such a way that I knew he meant "Yeah, that wasn't the greatest, but it happens and it'll be better next time. No worries!" hehe I love how men can do that. Or maybe it's just that women read too much in to what they way. *grins*