On balance

My Dom has a one word motto that he tries very hard to live by: Balance. For every bad, there is a good. I suppose that's why he doesn't worry about things that go wrong. He knows they'll eventually swing around for the better. I have to admit though, I expected to have to wait longer for things to swing back to good again.

If we felt disconnected a few days ago, it has certainly balanced out now. I have never felt more connected than we did yesterday. I let everything else in my head fall away, and it was just him and me.

It's so easy to worry about thin walls or that someone might just happen to knock on the door. Or worse still, that my husband's work schedule will change and he'll come home early. He certainly doesn't deserve a surprise like that. Yesterday it didn't really cross my mind.

His orders were obeyed without question or hesitation. At one point, R wanted me to fuck my throat with a toy and I did without thought. I didn't taste the plastic like I normally would. I didn't stop to think of how silly it must look. None of that mattered. It felt like he was fucking my throat (except that the toy is quite a bit smaller than he is) and I needed that. He wanted it to feel as real as possible for me. He was rather disappointed that the only toy I have with a suction cup is a small butt plug. Guess I know what my next toy purchase will be. *grins*

I won't go in to too many details, but I always marvel at the fact that I can be more satisfied from one orgasm with him than I am from 10 with a random playmate. I guess with Master, it goes beyond physical. It's a mindfuck as much as anything else.

On a more disappointing note, he is sans internet for a few weeks. I'll get to talk to him for maybe two hours a week over the phone, but that's not a lot. But while that's obviously disappointing, I actually feel pretty ok about it. Not that long ago, I would have been dreading all those days without even a hello. Now, I'm just looking forward to the next time we talk, even though that'll probably be a week or more away.

It's easy to say that now though. *chuckles* We'll see if I'm still saying that at the end of the week.