On perfection

It's funny how a certain theme suddenly appears everywhere. In the last three days the idea of a perfect partner has come up in a lot of conversations.

I was in a favourite chat room on Saturday and after one man declared me his ideal woman for the third time (*rolls eyes*) I simply said that I didn't believe in perfect partners. Apparently I was the only one. The main person I was talking to said he was a great believer in true love, but I pointed out that I never said I didn't believe in true love. I just don't believe in perfect partners. Even if there are elements of your personality that mesh perfectly, real life will get in the way at some point. Even with true love, the hoovering still needs doing.

Then on Sunday I was talking to a friend (lets call him George) about a story I have been thinking about writing. It's about a girl and her dom, but it's not about me and mine. Not really. It's sort of a fantasy, but the woman in the story is less submissive but more extreme than I am. George knows R (I should really give my Dom a name rather than just an initial... Let's call him Richard from now on) and there is occasionally a little tension between them. I've mentioned George before as the playmate who can get really clingy.

Anyway, George asked if the dom in this story was Richard and I realised that he really really wasn't. Really nothing like him, in fact. I don't want to give anything away in case I decide to publish the story here, but no, they're not very much alike. I told George that maybe this guy was my ideal Dom. He's harsh and uncaring. And if I'm honest, I'm much more comfortable with just sex than when love is involved too. But ideal doesn't mean perfect. Sometimes what we want isn't what is best for us.

And then on Monday, I read Sarah's blog about a similar thing. And I completely agree. Knowing what your partner isn't 100% perfect doesn't ever mean you're settling or just accepting what you're given. And who wants perfection anyway? I don't want someone who is just like me or a relationship where there's never any conflict. Problems can teach you more about each other. And resolving those problems bring you closer together. I value the places where Richard and I are different as much as I value the places where we're alike.