Musings on my husband

21 December 2008


Seeing as my blog is called "Musings of a subbie" you would think that I would write about my Dom first. But since the vast majority of this blog will be about him, I want to write about my husband first.

In just a few months, we will most likely be splitting up. And it kills me that I will cause us both that pain. I don't really care to go in to the intimate details of the breakdown of this relationship. Let's just say that there are fundamental personality differences that can't and won't be resolved. I don't feel the need to change who I am, and I certainly can't ask him to change who he is.

My husband is one of my oldest friends and I hope that part of our relationship will continue. Actually, I should point out that "breakdown of this relationship" and "that part of our relationship" is a crock of shit. All we really have is a close friendship and that's not breaking down. The only thing that will really change (I hope, perhaps naively ) is my home and the ring I wear on my finger.

I feel like such a bitch for hurting the kindest man I've ever met. But if we stayed together, I know our friendship would break down too. Resentment would start to fester and an affair wouldn't be too far off. (Yes yes, I know that if I have a Dom then I'm really already cheating on him.) I'm unwilling to extend a relationship that doesn't really have an optimistic future.

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