On acceptance

Thanks again to Meta. Your comments are always very welcome. I like hearing about someone else's experiences and their take on situations. I don't think anyone can ever have everything all figured out, and if they claimed to, I'd think they were lying.

I enjoy not knowing everything. I like the process of discovery, both of myself and of my Dom. There are moments of up and down, but I'm enjoying the ride. I am guided by my Master foremost, and then by the wonderful women who choose to share their thoughts and experiences.

As for yesterday's post, I had already sent him a message, giving him my complete honesty and telling him how I was feeling. But with our current silent status, I don't really feel like the conversation has even been started. I know I've said it, but it doesn't feel real until I know he's read it.

I sat in a lecture today that was all about how to use my supervisor for this huge project I have. I realised that if I was going to pass, I was going to have to take their advice. I would have to ask for help and seek validation with almost everything I write. I've never done that before.

Even growing up, I would never check my grades or my homework or anything. I knew whether or not I had done my best, and I knew that it was handed in and couldn't be changed, so I was satisfied. If I hadn't done my best, I would try harder next time, no matter what the grade. I never cared if it was an A or a D. Not just grades, either. I just generally felt that I had to approve of myself first and anyone else was just a bonus.

I find myself desiring and seeking approval from my man though. Still not from anyone else, but from him. Now I have to seek it from my supervisor as well. It's not something I'm comfortable doing, but it is a necessity. Because if they don't approve, I can change what I've written before it's marked.