On separate lives

In the last couple of days, my husband's life has changed drastically. His father just left his mum for her best friend, who also happened to be his best friend's wife. Apparently they've been having an affair for the past year. As far as my husband was concerned, his parents had a very happy marriage and this was completely out of the blue. It's been a bit of a shock for everyone. Every day it seems something new happens that makes the situation worse.

As for me, I always liked my father-in-law. I never thought they had a perfect marriage but I don't think anyone ever does. I can understand having problems and wanting out of a situation, but I can't understand going about it the way he has. He called me the day after he left, basically trying to use me as a source of information on his wife and kids. I was trying to be as neutral as possible, but... it put me in an awkward situation that I didn't want to be in, and I told him this.

Anyway, on to the point of this blog... This was a major part of my life in the last few days. It effects my house, people I love, and me. I normally try to keep a separation between my husband and my Master, mostly out of respect for both of them. But this wasn't about my husband really, and I wanted to share with R.

My Master has never asked me to keep that separation. He is not jealous of my husband, but he does get angry and frustrated with him. He gets frustrated because my husband is going to watch as I walk away instead of fixing anything to keep me (his words, not mine). He feels it is much less than I deserve. But if nothing else, my husband is my friend. I may not be in love with him, but I do love him very much. So when R gets angry and frustrated with someone I love, it's going to cause problems between us.

So when I came to him about the events of the past few days, he wasn't overly comfortable. I could more than understand why, but it still hurt. He didn't tell me to change the subject and deal with it myself, but he did encourage me to talk to another friend rather than him. It was weird because I felt a little rejected, even though I could more than understand why.

We talked about how I felt later (because he'd been up for about 36 hours and fell asleep in the middle of the conversation) and I was completely honest with him. I'd mostly gotten over that feeling of rejection while he slept, because I could hardly just stew in it for hours. So I asked him if he wanted to know about that part of my life or if he wanted it completely edited out. He decided that he wanted to know what was happening in my life, he has to know all of it. So whether he was uncomfortable with it or not, if I needed to talk, he would be there for me.

We then talked about it for a long time, even though I didn't really need to anymore. I knew he has asked to know, but I still think I would try to keep that separation as often as I can. It's not respectful to my husband and it's not fair on my dom to do otherwise.